:(

It's interesting how yesterday, when Rachel and Ian made a year, Park started dating someone. What's up with that? Just a coincidence? 

What happens when you're torn between two people?

1. The person who's been through hell and back for and with you...
and then you went and broke his heart, not once but twice.

It makes me feel better when I tell myself that I have no chance of ever getting him back... not because I want to forget, but because it hurt too much after I realized how much pain I'd cause him. I've realized that I haven't been able to forget about what went wrong and just how much I had lost... all because I was selfish and afraid of being hurt first. Truth is, I haven't stopped wondering what it would be like for right now if I hadn't pushed him away.

2. The person who got you through the aftermath of all of that and is still by your side.

I have to admit, there's an element of gratitude in all of this. I care about him... but a lot of that care translates into feeling obligated to stick by him because he's roughed it out with me. I feel like if I walk away now, it would solidify the fact that I can't (at this point) care about him in the way he cares about me... and that would be horrible.